A Pocket Guide to Taming The Introvert Next Door (For Extroverts)

Updated: Sep 22, 2019


Let's talk about a broad and diverse group of people that the world tries to fit into one category—INTROVERTS.


In this trusted guide you will discover techniques to spot, approach, and even tame a local representative of this unique species.


Why would you ever want to attempt such a complicated endeavor?


Because he or she might become your faithful friend, your reliable employee, or your authentic life partner that would stay with you for years to come.


I can't speak for everyone (and I might be a bit biased as an introvert myself), but most of the time, introverted people turn into loyal companions.


*Fellow domesticated introverts—feel free to sneak in these helpful guidelines to clueless extroverts around you.


Ok, lets begin.


First, let me start by saying there are lots of variations within the group. But in general terms, introverts are individuals who enjoy things that involve less talking and fewer people. You have to distinguish them from extroverts who had their wisdom teeth pulled and can't be chatty at the moment. The behavior will be constant. And because introverts seem hard to befriend, I will share a few secrets on capturing their hearts.


#1 Approach slowly.

Introverts are usually easily spooked. Some more than others. If you spot one

—move closer with caution, maintaining their vast personal space. Even though you might be able to connect with others instantly, introverted people need time to warm up to you and build trust. Enthusiastic comments about their appearance, excessive compliments about the latest project they did, and multiple questions could make the introvert feel overwhelmed and retreat. He or she is simply hibernating to conserve energy and daily word count for their close family and friends. Sudden approach might also get misinterpreted as not genuine. Tone it down to a few neutral phrases and keep your first interactions brief.


#2 Take small steps.

When your targeted introvert gets used to your presence and even ventures out to say "hi", comment about the weather or smile, it's your cue to start the next step towards the capture. Throw in the hook or two—ask a question that would draw them out of their shell, share something about yourself, or hint that you need help. Most introverts love to assist others. And afterward, you will have a legitimate reason to do something for them in return. But it is not the time go over the top. Moderation is the key. Don't go into #instahugging, #bigpartytime, or #letsmeetallmyfriends a few days into relationship. Keep it one-on-one while slowly expanding the territory.


#3 Be patient.

Introverts don't believe that relationships can be established overnight, but once the bond is built, it's usually unbreakable. Calmly take notice of them day by day without putting them into a spotlight. Small genuine gestures are better than overly lavish ones. And depending on how far you are willing to go in order to gain their love or friendship, being open about your weaknesses is a very effective way to make introverts relax their guard. Maybe he or she is a rare find, and you don't want to miss your chance. Then being genuinely open and vulnerable will draw them like a magnet. Once the heart is open and communication is established, you have reached the finish line. Congrats.


P.S. It is not the time to throw a big surprise party for your introvert's birthday and invite the whole neighborhood. You don't want them to go totally feral on you again.


For more information, read:


THE 3 COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT INTROVERTS


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